So my computer needs a tattoo. Actually, my motherboard needs a tattoo. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried, right? My home machine has been out of commission for almost a month now, and thanks to my extended warranty, I have faith that it will be up and running again soon.

But a tattoo? What’s the protocol for getting your motherboard a tattoo? Does it need a wild night out with the hard drives, the CPUs and the memory to sustain enough libations and pressure to encourage it? Will the external hard drive keep the photos of this inky moment in time forever as blackmail? Will the RAM even remember telling the motherboard “Aww, come on, it doesn’t hurt!”

I mean, we’re talking a motherboard. What will the kids think of mom getting a tattoo?

And what about me? I’m a “to each his own” kind of girl but have never seen the allure of getting a tattoo personally. I grew up around a military base, where lots of leathernecks sported tats, but in a generation where “Miami ink” meant buying a cool pen at the beach. Now I’ll have a tattooed wonder inside my home office. I’ll have to hide this from the tween.

I picture this tattoo as a red heart, or maybe a rose with “Mother” inscribed upon it. The kind of tattoo that Popeye the Sailor Man would have picked to show his love for Olive Oyl.

When my new tattooed motherboard arrives in the next few days, I hope it lasts inside my computer the way an actual tattoo lasts upon your skin. Permanently.

Image from protectorr’s photostream on Flickr.