On Monday, I saw a woman wearing the perfect shoes. If I wasn’t doing a business-y thing, I would have tracked her down to ask her where she got them. They were that good. I have dreamed of these shoes. I WANT these shoes. So I asked my friend Google about them.

But I don’t think I can have them. Behold the DKNY Mary Jane Peep Toe Espadrille Wedges. (not their real name) $180-$229. Sigh. They are perfect on so many levels. In fact, every level except one.

1. They are Mary Janes. ‘Nuff said.
2. The strap is elastic! Very comfy.
3. They are peep toe. Love it.
4. They are espadrilles. Summery chic.
5. They are wedges. Comfy again.

But their failing point.
6. They cost a freakin’ fortune!

My friend Google did tell me about some Tommy Hilfiger Mary Jane Espadrilles that look quite cute and adorable, and my friend Zappos says they have some in stock for me. In fact, Zappos, whose CEO I am following on Twitter, also has these DKNY shoes. (Hi Tony! How’s the bald head?) I see that no one has reviewed the DKNY Harmony Peep-Toe Wedge. I would be happy to do that if Tony wants to send me some for review. Size 8.5, please. In Black. Thanks.